You Probably Won’t Read This

Mom, I ripped up my report card. You were right. I’m stupid. I’m not smart enough. I couldn’t show you, I just couldn’t! I’m sorry. At the bottom, the teacher wrote,

He’s one of my favorite kids!

But I didn’t make straight A’s… So, you probably wouldn’t read it. Like last week, when I came home crying, you asked how my day went, and I responded like this:

Why do you always ask me that?! God! Just leave me alone!

Then, I threw down a piece of paper, ran to my room and slammed the door. It was a letter from a bully. I didn’t want to talk to you about it. I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready. It doesn’t matter.

You probably didn’t read it either. If you did, you’d just tell me as you’ve told me before,

Stop whining! It’s no wonder you get bullied! Be a man, son!

I’m trying.

Last week, I came home late, and you were angry and yelling. I just crossed my arms, held my sleeves tight, and listened. I’m sorry. My arm was bleeding.

That day, during Science, I carved “you don’t love me” across my wrist, with a pencil. I’m not sure why. It’s just how I felt. But you probably didn’t read it either. Right, mom?

Put on a coat! Cover that up! No one needs to see that. This is church!

You read it, but I don’t matter. Tonight, I wrote a letter for you. I hope you’ll read it and listen.

To My Family

For help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255. It does matter.


  • Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts.
  • Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
  • Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.
  • A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying,
  • 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above.
  • According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying.

Statistics provided by Family First Aid.

Suicide Prevention

8 thoughts on “You Probably Won’t Read This

  1. When people start posts with ‘you probably won’t read this’ I am never intrigued. Too versed in reverse psychology but sometimes, if I feel less cynical, I will read, just in case I miss something. I am glad I chose to do that with your post.

    Great play on words, beautifully written and incredibly powerful. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

Start A Conversation That Matters

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s